Last night, before we realized it, we were caught in a reality TV vortex, unable to escape. A synopsis follows. But before it does, can i just ask is it redundant to say "a brief synopsis?" Methinks it is, for a lengthy synopsis is not a synopsis at all, but rather an analysis or assessment. Anyway, to the synopse!
First, Big Brother failed in its fifth US effort to capture my imagination. We actually flipped back and forth to this, from something altogether more interesting, although I can't remember what it was. The big gimmick...and don't let me spoil it for you...is that two of the contestants are half-siblings, and another is really an identical twin, playing decepticon. Whoa! Re-write the annals of reality TV creative genius. I'm sorry, but that half-brother comes across as just a wee bit retarded as he gets all emotional. I don't care what happens in these programs, just remember that they all have to sign consent forms. And little sis...yeah, the purple-haired, chest-tatooed lass? Yeah, "big half-brother" hasn't decided whether or not to let her in on the skinny. Hey....the game comes FIRST!
Next, we thoroughly enjoyed Last Comic Standing. Fact: Gary Gulman....not that funny. Bigger, more important fact....Ant was the most abrasive character on TV since Brillo Woolery, the steel wool lamb.* I actually shouted, "YES!" and threw both fists in the air when Ant got stomped. I continue to think John Heffron and Alonzo Bouldin (I don't know if I've spelled that right...let's just pretend I'm trying to be funny and clever with the spelling) are the two funniest guys in the house. I am hopeful the game will become more pure now, and less of a manipulation-fest. And make no mistake, Jay Mohr is without a doubt the funniest comic on the show.
Finally, we watched The Amazing Race, Jen's favorite. Okay, this show stresses me out. It made me ready for bed. Good grief. Slow down. Stop at Starbucks. I can see the addictive quality of it, and we'll probably be back (this sentence can point back either to the show, or to Starbucks...they'd both be accurate). Although the host is definitely a Jeff Probst wannabe, whether by involuntary creation or intentional design. And the team with the little person and the whiny cousin? They need to go. Actually Sharla, the little person isn't bad. But her cousin...oh my....i was ready to push her out a moving taxi. She kept alternately screaming at her cousin to hurry up (to which I would have replied-had I been Sharla, of course-, "Uh, I was a little person when you invited me on. I didn't suddenly grow 36 inches overnight. CHILLOUT!") and whining that the side of beef she had to carry was too heavy. I'm just a little disappointed that I actually typed out that sentence and it made perfect sense to me and anyone else who watched the program. Don't much care for the twins, or the arguing young lovers, or even the over-the-top Christian models. I think I'm actually pulling for the older couple who met on the Internet, since they were both sweet and encouraging to one another. Which means they don't stand a chance whatsoever.
Monday may have Fear Factor and Joe Schmoe 2 (along with lots of other tripe), but Tuesday appears to be the Summer King of RTV.
*no such creation exists. this was necessary for creative purposes. i knew you'd understand. thanks for playing along.
July 7, 2004 5:51 PMI too thrust my fist in the air when Ant was eliminated.
Posted by: Christopher at July 8, 2004 1:30 AMAw, I think Ant is funny. The Star Tours bus thing was hilarious and he rocked at that. I didn't see the second episode since I watched The Amazing Race, which is The Best Reality Show Ever.
I take exception to your assessment of Phil as Probst-wannabe. Phil is the King of Reality Hosts. And he's HOT. :wink:
I'm worried about the Christian team - somehow they manage to find the most stereotypical couple of Christians to advance their theory that we're all a bunch of ignorant lemmings. Feh.
I'm pulling for Jim/Marsha - the guy took 25 stitches in the first hour of the race! Come on...he's a stud.
Posted by: jen at July 8, 2004 10:07 AMThe wound will ensure that they are doomed, sorry. The blond guy from the Christian team reminds me eerily of the blond guy from The Blue Lagoon, and that's just creepy. I keep expecting a "DNA" twist that they're really brother and sister. I apologize for confusing Phil Probst for his brother Jeff, I should have known the true fans might be a little thin-skinned abot that one!
And as I said to Kelli yesterday, Ant should have been called "Roach" because he is one, but he was the one guy (except maybe for Alonzo) who appeared calm and prepared in every situation. Might as well give that to him, since he ain't the LCS!
Posted by: Bryan at July 8, 2004 1:03 PM