August 24, 2004
Cotter Mac, Intrepid PC KindergartnerPosted by Bryan
A little background before the story of last night's conversation.
When Cotter split his chin open, one thing I kept saying to him over an over was "Don't panic. Don't Panic." Blood was splurting out of the wound from his chin like he was cousin Jethro working overtime on the North Forty Water Pump on a hot summer day.* I now think I was saying that more for me than I was for him.
Okay...with that tucked in your mental file folder....
Me: How was your day at school?
Cotter: Good. I have to tell you two things bad that happened today.
Me (preparing for the worst): Okay....
Cotter: Ashlyn got moved off green.
< pause>This is a good place to tell you that the kindergarten discipline plan includes a color-coded chart wherein everyone starts on green, then as offenses are perpetrated, the student's name is advanced down a path that culminates at red, which I think signifies the potential color of the offender's bottom, after a punitive spanking at home. In all, it's identical to Tom Ridge's Homeland Security System. < /pause>
Kaylyn: Ashlyn is his girlfriend.
Kelli (ominously): Kaylyn!
Kaylyn (standing corrected): That's the girl who said she loved Cotter and made all the kissy noises on the second day of school.
Me: Gotcha. Cotter, what was she doing to move off green?
Cotter: She was standing at her desk shaking her booty.
Me: Excuse me?
Cotter: Like this (proceeds to shake his booty).
Me: Well, I guess I can see why she got moved off green. So what else happened that was bad?
Cotter: Someone else got moved off green.
Me (Again, expecting the worst): Who was it?
Cotter: It was that Chinese Boy in our class, Jose'.....why are you laughing at me?
Me: Jose' isn't Chinese. He's Hispanic.
Cotter: No. He's not. He just got moved to purple. He didn't panic at all.
Me: No...like he's from Mexico.
Cotter: Oh. Right. He's Mexpanican. On purple.
*I apologize for that unfortunate analogy. I don't know what it means either. They can't all be winners.
August 24, 2004 12:51 PMOh, so funny!
Many teachers use the color system at my school and I had never thought about the comparison to the terror alert level (Tom must have stole that from the Dept. of Education). So funny!
Most at our school have different colored craft sticks (I call them Popsicle sticks) so when a student gets in trouble they have to "pull a stick" but I understand the "move off green" terminology.
Posted by: Christopher at August 24, 2004 8:15 PMInteresting...last night Kaylyn was recounting the day right after prayers and used the term "his color got pulled." They use a series of colored, laminated tags, I think.
Posted by: Bryan at August 25, 2004 5:07 AM