Spare Change

When is a Panda not a Panda?

Posted by Bryan

When it's a pawn in international politics.

China is offering a pair of pandas to Taiwan, claiming a goodwill gesture. Taiwan is concerned the pandas have strings attached...all the way back to China.

This is cleary a non-regifting situation, and Taiwan must carefully weigh the options...accept the furry pair of exotic creatures...or...abdicate autonomy to Communist overlords. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

And I quote:

The offer of the giant pandas was widely expected in Taiwan - late last week, officials there already were bickering about what to name the animals. But some Taiwanese officials reacted with caution. A similar gesture by Beijing years ago was refused because Taipei feared it was part of a plot to foster unification.

One of the ruling Democratic Progressive Party's greatest concerns is that China will insist Taiwan accept the pandas as a local Chinese government rather than as a self-governing entity.

"If we accept the pandas that means we're admitting ourselves we're a local government," said DPP lawmaker Hsu Kuo-yung. "Our lovely next generation is more important than these two lovely animals."

Some rejected names for the Pair of Panda (which beats a pair of Aces in Texas Hold 'Em -- Check Hoyle's, you'll see I'm right):

• Tyranny & Despotism


• Marx & Lenin


• Puppet State & Shadow Government


• Sigfried & Roy


• Ling Ling & Tuk Tuk

The Taiwanese have officially declared the panda "eats shoots & leaves" joke as "unfunny" due to the current predicament. Further fears have only been compounded by this video, airing widely as propaganda of the risk of accepting the panda.

May 3, 2005 2:39 PM