Spare Change

Cruising for a Smackdown

Posted by Bryan

I didn't see the show. I was working. Yet, it's all I could hear this morning on the radio, despite my best attempts to escape it.

Tom was crazy in love for Katie on Oprah.

The whole time I'm hearing about his she-nanigans, I kept thinking about the inspirational speaker he portayed in the movie Magnolia - so over-the-top with fist-pumping fury, only to be empty-beneath-the-shell in privacy.

Then I see the photos, thanks to DeFamer.

Now I'm convinced everyone has it all wrong.

View this slideshow, and you tell me, is Tom crazy in love, or just plain crazy? I personally think, upon close review, that Cruise is not at all smitten; rather, he's about to deliver a Smiting as the wrestling dynamo of Team TKO, where he'll be competing for the International Belt under the name
Cruiser "The Macho Man" Savage.

UPDATE: Mrs. Mogul thinks it's real. She read the online interview. I didn't. I went to her site and watched the video of him hoppy in love. So let's say he's sincere, and he's really kookoo for Katiepuffs, saying that he's "never felt this way" before about a woman. What exactly does that mean for his ex, who stood with him, over him, behind him...whatever...and parented two adopted children together? Legitimate or not, this just reverberates with an echo of "Midlife crisis...isis...isis."

Oh, and as far as the young Miss's teen dream of marrying Tom? Well, when I was a kid, I wanted to marry Pinky Tuscadero, even after the horrible tragedy at the Demolition Derby. Ask me today how glad I am I didn't chase that dream.

May 24, 2005 12:59 PM