Spare Change

Summer TV...I Knew Fall TV. I Watched Fall TV. You, Sir, Are No Fall TV

Posted by Bryan

I admit it. I watched it.

Dancing with the Stars.

Now, to my defense, I was ten minutes in before my wife explained that this was a six-week train wreck in development, and not the one episode I-use-the-term-loosely "special."

But here's what I learned....

• Joey McIntyre, formerly of New Kids on the Block, has hip hop dancing skills, but this is classical, so he expected a challenge. What I didn't get is that he was too proud to take part in VH1's Band reunion show, but he willingly stepped up to be a part of this. Okay, dude, whatever...it's your career.


• Evander Holyfield, as a dancer, makes an excellent boxer.


• Rachel Hunter, as a dancer, makes an excellent boxer.


• If you don't know who Kelly Monaco is, let me do you a favor by telling you that she's an actress on a daytime soap opera, as "your number one Kelly source" informs. I had never seen nor heard of the thespian before, but I was inspired or maybe just confused by her quote, "The straight paved road won't always get you farther than the winding dirt road."


• Trista Sutter is 37 minutes away from passing Regis Philbin for most air time on television. Ryan has no comment.


• J. Peterman should win. The guy has the right attitude (kind of a "yeah, I know...I can't believe I'm here, either" vibe), and any man that age who's willing to put on those trousers and shake his groove thing is worthy of some kind of award.

But I'm not chock full of answers....several questions were raised, too....

• What does ABC have on Tom Bergeron? I just can't imagine the meeting where the execs where reviewing the demos and one guy pipes in..."you know what this show needs? More Bergeron!" And I like Tom, but brother, the kids need some face time at home. It's about quantity AND quality Tom....go home. Let them know daddy cares.


• So is it the cha cha or the cha cha cha The Web site refers to it as the former, but on air, it was announced as the latter. Is there a difference? Is the triple cha more difficult than the double cha? Did this confuse the dancers as well?


• Finally, and most obviously, the question that certainly was echoing throughout the dozens of homes in America watching this show....where...oh where...was Patrick Swayze?

June 2, 2005 12:21 AM