Spare Change

Will You Please Stop Hitting Me?

Posted by Bryan

True to my word, we watched Hit Me 1 More Time last night.

All in all, not bad.

But not baaaaaaad either.

When this show is held up to American Idol's template, we learn the important lesson that a wannabe is hungrier and more focused than a has-been.

I initially thought Loverboy looked old, until it was pointed out that they are old. That allowed me to appreciate them a little more.

I was amazed that one of the Seagulls had matured into an locationally-ambiguous ethnic man over the past 20 years (compare to photo below), until it was pointed out that the band had been "re-imaged." This didn't help me appreciate them any more, but at least I understood. I think Ryan Cabrera may have rethought his decision to send them a thank you card for singing his tune last night, after hearing their performance. One bulletin boader assessed:

flock didn't have it. even watching evander hollyfield dancing with the stars was better.

Arrested Development brought the goods in a we're-hip-parents sort of way. I enjoyed their presentation, with both songs.

Cece did okay, but I thought she looked and sounded nervous. I thought the two barechested dancers gave off a Mrs. Robinson vibe that was a bit distracting.

This left Tiffany. I thought she did fine, musically, but her wardrobe was atrocious. Her first blouse made her look suspiciously pregnant (and we weren't the only ones who thought so, apparently), and when she was singing her teen anthem I Think We're Alone Now, it just felt oogy, like you were watching the come hither advances of some desperate house wife who ought not be doing so. Then, in her adequate rendition of Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway, you could see that she's not pregnant, but just a thirtysomething mom who looks like 75% of all women (and therefore completely out of place by television's Bizzaro standards).

By far the most annoying aspect of the show was the host, Vernon Kay. No problems for me that he's British and hosted the original version in the UK. My problem is that he told me that CeCe "took the roof off of it" when my ears told me otherwise.

Aside from looking like it took place on the recycled set from AI 2, having an overall feel of a really good high school talent show, and leaving me with an impression that if you don't use those pipes, they get rusty, it was good diversionary summar fare. There's folks clamoring on the NBC boards suggesting changes of all sorts to make it better...genre-specific nights, online voting, changing the host...I say that unless you can entertain some sort of gladatorial combat between Tiffany & Debbie Gibson and A Flock of Seagulls and, say, White Lion (or some other predatorially named 80s band), then just accept it for what it is and live with it.

We'll be back if there's nothing more important going on. You get two episodes next week. Monday offers Sophie B. Hawkins, Wang Chung, Cameo, Irene Cara, and Night Ranger, and Wednesday presents he Knack, Vanilla Ice, Tommy Tutone, and The Motels.

After all, I gotsta see if Vanilla Ice, when the lights are turned off will glow to the extreme, rock a mic like a vandal, light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.

If that happens, how could you not watch?

June 3, 2005 10:45 AM