Spare Change

With this Wax Ring, I thee Flush

Posted by Bryan

Just "closing the loop," for the several people who have found Spare Change via searches for "how to change a wax ring" and "how to replace a toilet flange," only to disappointingly read of my struggle, which, at the time was unresolved.

So, intrepid handymen (or women, if the case may be), if you've already followed the important steps listed in the previous post of securing overpriced estimates, covering every tool you have with filthy toilet ring wax, singing an awkward duet with a total stranger in the middle of Home Depot (Lowes or WalMart are also acceptable locations for this), and endured an hours-long stalemate sumo power hold with your bowl in a futile effort to manhandle it into the proper location, then you too are ready to proceed to the final stage.

Here's what you need to do:

1. Wake up the next morning slightly discouraged at your lack of success.


2. Bring to your home one (1) father-in-law who is returning your youngest child from a week of love and attention.


3. Gladly accept his invitation to "show you a few things" about plumbing.


4. Pay attention, particularly to his advice to replace the standard water pipe that feeds into the toilet tank-even though it is not one of the broken parts-with a new, braided flexible water line, because it will make the reattachment tons easier.


5. Leave to go register your older two children in spring baseball, softball, or both, while your dad-in-law "plays around a little."


6. Return to find him gone, apparently to the Home super store of his choice.


7. Attach the flexible braid water line to the tank.


8. Happily acknowledge your decision to buy the waxless seal was a bad idea, and insert the new wax ring he purchased upon the bowl, before you attach the bowl to the flange.


9. Assist him to place the bowl upon the flange.


10. Easily attach the flexible braided water line to the plumbing pipe.


11. Sit on the toilet, to "secure" the wax ring to the new flange.


12. Secure the bowl to the flange, using the bolts supplied with the wax ring
.

13. Thank your spouse's dad profusely.


14. Refurnish your bathroom with a fresh roll of TP and the regular assortment of reading material.


15. Final step...and this is important...leave your assortment of tools in the bathroom for an additional five days -- including but not limited to:
    
    
    • hammer
    
    
    • 12 flat head screwdrivers of various sizes
    
    
    • 3 pairs of pliers
    
    
    • wire cutters
    
    
    • tin snips
    
    
    • a flash light
    
    
    • a barbecue grill lighter
    
    
    • wood shim
    
    
    • a handy vac vacuum
    
    
    • a regular vacuum
    
    
    • PVC solvents
    
    
    • 15-20 sized wrenches (although only one of which should be the correct size to loosen and tighten the flange bolts
    
    
    • a soaked area carpet folded into thirds that served as a make-shift knee cushion for your efforts
    
    This step allows you to bask in the success of your home repair, until your spouse lovingly asks, "You ever going to wrap up this job, Toolman?"