It has taken me this long to get over the pathetic showing the Broncos offered at home at the AFC championship game.
But I'm all better now.
Really.
I did cut my wife off when she began to ask the question, "Wouldn't you rather they lose now than in the...?"
No. No I would not. I would always rather they lose in the Super Bowl.
Believe me, I've put that hypothetical to the test.
Many times.
Many, many painful times.
But....
I have also discovered I'm one of those horrible fans that always wants the other kind of loss than the one they endured. I wish they had lost a close game and had "been in it" rather than being blown out. Except, of course, if they had lost a close game, I would have rather they lost a blow out so as to not get my hopes up, only to bash them unmercifully like Jeb Putzier being served up to an angry linebacker by an errant Jake Plummer pass over the middle.
So I apply the balm of false comfort believing my team to be "entering their prime," with only 7 players over 31, a real chance at keeping all their free agents, and only one major problem in their starting QB's propensity to completely lose his mind in the big games and start throwing the ball to the other team at random, and dropping it to the turf like a scared rent-a-cop with an unloaded pistol at the words "this is a hold-up!"
I've decided that "Plummer!" is an excellent addition to my extremely limited dictionary of expletives. I'll use this whenever I do something that is painfully stupid. If I agree to a meeting after I've already promised to take my bride to dinner..."Ah, Plummer! What was I thinking?!?"
My absurdist fantasy is that Denver will exchange every draft pick for the 2006 draft in exchange for the right to welcome Vince Young into the fold. I don't pray football prayers, but if I did, well...Vince Young throws right, he's big and bright < clapclapclapclap> deep in the heart of Bryan.
Our ex-offensive coordinator Gary Kubiak is now the helmsman in Houston. Surely, out of a debt of gratitude, he'd swap picks with us. Surely he could create a second package that would allow him to take Reggie Bush, or whoever he wants, and still give us this little gratuity as a ahthankyousah for his matriculation as an NFL coach.
I have yet to lament with my brother over this...but I'm sure he's still offering colorful commentary laced with calls for Shanahan's head on a pike. I'm going to let that bitter tide where hungry sharks always circle underneath the surface ebb before I talk about the prospects for next year. I've circled early June on the calendar for that conversation.
So, my pick for the big game? I fully expect Monster.com to win with the best commercial.
I'll be rooting for the Steelers. Why? Because then I can say, "Hey, we got beat by the World Champs."
It's all about the coping mechanism, baby.
January 31, 2006 8:34 AMOf course, my old diatribe of "Plummer won't win you a Super Bowl" still stands. As a matter of fact, I believe I told you that he wasn't good enough to even get you there ... and, my ability to foresee the future still holds up.
Posted by: Tony Rosen at February 1, 2006 11:43 AM