Spare Change

Brokeback at Birth

Posted by Bryan

A classic defense in the argument over the Calvinism/Armenianism predisposition of a person's sexual identity is articulated with a rhetorical that usually sounds something like, "How would I choose to be gay? Why would I choose homosexuality?"

Classicly speaking, most practitioners of alternative lifestyles would argue that homosexuality is no choice. It was how a person is hardwired, that they were born this way.

Well, I agree.

But not really.

It is a useless counterclaim to argue that I (Bryan, the author) did not choose heterosexuality, as if to prove that my experience is the norm and theirs (the hypothetical homosexual disagreeing with me), accordingly, was therefore abnormal. My experience is too subjective, just like a homosexual's experience is too subjective to skew the argument the other way as well.

So, the qualifier is required to play the part of clarifier. Both of us need an objective standard according to which we can base our experience, a template we can use for comparison.

Thus, I offer the Bible. Its words have stood the test of time, and though there is plenty of controversy regarding it, depending upon whether or not you believe its words to be truth or myth, fact or fiction, it nonetheless is still available in a consistent format with well-researched position statement on moral matters.

Rather than a long argument about David or Jonathan or the Sodom welcome wagon mob introducing themselves to Lot, I'd like to take a different track here, so bear with me.

The Bible says that we are born in sin (Psalm 51:5). So, sin was an intrinsic part of my spiritual DNA from the nexus of my experience called life. And so it was a part of yours, too.

So I was born with this weakness, this flaw, this defect. And from moment one, it began working on me. You see, because I was born defective, I from the very beginning thought the whole world was all about me. From day one, all I cared about was what I wanted, what was going to make me fat and happy, what was going to keep my belly full, my eyelids heavy, and my tiny selfish little heart happy.

This is why I didn't have to learn how to do "the wrong thing," whatever "the wrong thing" happened to be. This is why I had to be told not to take what didn't belong to me, because my birth defect caused me to reason that if I saw it and I wanted it, I should have it, so I'd take it -- who cared if it belonged to my brother, mother, or another? This is why I had to be disciplined when I threw a tantrum, stuck peas up my nose to demonstrate my defiant attitude, or acted like a wee monster just because the mood hit. This is why I didn't have to be taught how to lie -- it just came naturally to me, just like it did to you. But like Tiger Woods at the driving range, it took many years of dedicated practice to get good at it.

You see, the birth defect of sin is such that it behaves like a weed root snaking through hardscrabble soil. When you are young, sin spends its early days feeding on small subsistence of petty lies, insignificant defiance and rebellion, silly larcenies that might actually get a chuckle from parents because "it was just so cute when he kept taking that candy and saying 'mine!'"

But just like a weed, once those roots take hold, they become oh so difficult to unearth and remove. When sin finds the source upon which it thrives, it virtually explodes in new, creative, destructive expressions.

As a wise friend lamenting the fact that his teen daughter was no longer sexually pure for her future husband once said to me, "I'm not nearly so sad about what she's lost as I am as about what she has gained."

So it is with the fostering of sin. Sin is the present-at-birth defect that ends up consuming its host. The desire to indulge self overwhelms a person. The insatiable hunger to feed individual wants and desires absolutely overtakes, subverts, and circumvents logic, reason, and rationale.

For many, this consumption is expressed sexually -- through illicit, indulgent relationships either heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual in nature, to varying degrees of instability and transiency.

In this regard, sexuality is not determined to be a choice. The subtle deception of sin disguised as sex, though, is that because it "feels good," the realization of defeat is counterintuitive to the experience. No, much more than that, it is simply a matter of giving up, and giving in. So, "sexual identity Calvinist," you are right. You had no choice. You were born this way. Flawed from birth, destined to defeat.

Before you do the victory dance, realize this: giving up and giving in are still choices. It doesn't matter that both the sociological and biological decks were stacked against you. While the Bible says you were created in sin, it also declares you were created in God's image(), created to worship Him (Mark 12:30"). Choosing to give up and give in to the ceaseless clamorings of sin makes it impossible to love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength (Luke 11:17).

So, "sexual identity Calvinist," you are wrong.

God still holds us responsible for the sins we choose. Even if you didn't see it as a choice because you were just tired of fighting the temptation.

It's no wonder or accident that the Bible talks about lust as something that can burn you, or prostitute you, make you behave like a rutting horse (trust me, check out Jeremiah's take on it!), and even defile you. In these references, the objects of lust are both specific and sweeping, articulated and ambiguous, but altogether idolatrous and codemnable by the God who Sets the Rules.

So, you were born broken like a Central European import destined to drop its engine two days after the warranty expires. And your flaw leads you to choose self, either passively or forcefully, over God.

That's why God offers you a better way.

He gives you the way to be born again. That's the term used by Jesus himself, talking to Nicodemus, a guy who was intently interested in trying to let God fix what he couldn't fix on his own.

Jesus said if you are born with a spiritual birth defect, then you must be born again. The Bible makes it clear everyone is born with this flaw (Rom. 3:23), so the remedy is available to everyone, too(John 3:16).

Gay or Straight, Hedonist or Otherwise, God offers a better way. Trust that His love is a better offer than the shadowy counterfeit you've been accepting as legal tender. Ask him to show you that better way through His genuine, holy love and be redeemed back to the person you were intended to be, forgiven of your sins and acceptable to the One who created You.

February 3, 2006 3:12 AM