Spare Change

RULE 1.a. A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. Golfers should not be penalized for uncontrollable mechanical phenomena.

RULE 2.d.6(b) A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.

RULE 3.b.3(g) There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging him or herself with a penalty.

RULE 4 (7a) If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf.

RULE 5. Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.

RULE 6.a.9(k) There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds." If penny-pinching golf club owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.

RULE 7.g.15(z) There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. That they do not is a technical problem that manufacturers have to correct. Golfers should not be punished for manufacturer’s shortcomings.

RULE 8.d.19(q) There is no penalty for a ball going into a canyon on desert courses. This is a technical problem and when the golf manufactures retire they will correct this manufacturing defect.

RULE 9.k.9(s) Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new clubs, balls, shoes etc. Since this is financially impractical for the average golfer, a stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.

Table of Contents:

Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt

Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee

Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker

Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance Off the Shank

Chapter 5 - How to Keep One Step ahead of the Ranger Without Speeding up Play

Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Winnings

Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management

Chapter 8 - Proper Justifications for Teeing Up a 2nd Shot from the Fairway

Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round

Chapter 10 - How to Find The Ball on the Fairway that Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water

Chapter 11 - Why Your Spouse Doesn't Care That You Birdied the 5th

Chapter 12 - How to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome

Chapter 13 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Three Off the Tee

Chapter 14 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent

Chapter 15 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt

Chapter 16 - When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever

Chapter 17 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game

Chapter 18 - Driving the Green on #2: When to Delay the Game by Driving the Cart Three Holes back to Use the Porta-Potty.

Order today and we'll include the special CD with audio chapters on:

• Lime Lifesavers: Tee-Up on the Fairway with these Secret Weapons
• Using the Foot-Wedge out of the Deep Rough
• Why You Keep Hitting Trees When there's So Much Open Space
• Are you To Good For Your Home? The Happy Gilmore Approach
• Scoring Made Easy: Using Binary on a Base 10 Card