June 2, 2008
A Dad's Job - Fathering DaughtersPosted by Bryan
I understand that there will be a day when my girls will become women. However, we're raising them to be ladies. Part of that is to avoid selfish snakes who look to steal from our girls that which never will never belong to them.
I know I have a little time before this matter becomes more prominent in our lives, but I take seriously the role of protecting my daughters from boys who are the way I was. I will not be passive in this responsibility. I go to Junk Yard Dog mode already just thinking about a boy setting his sights on my daughter for anything less than noble intentions. And I still growl menacingly at the ones who may be noble, just so they don't get any funny ideas.
When I think of my daughters, I'm reminded of this analogy, which is readily available on the web:
Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. I don't know that all "top apples" think there's something wrong with them. In fact, our intent is to help our daughters recognize their worth in Christ in a humble way that leads them to be very selective about the boys who will solicit their affections. However, I certainly agree that bottom feeders are to be avoided.
Here's my thing. I believe my girls are fearfully and wonderfully made. They are beautiful and held in high regard by their creator and redeemer Jesus. I love them beyond measure and I am daily amazed by the unique way that God uses them to bless others and to participate in his plan. When the day arrives for young men to come courting, only those who recognize these same things in my girls will be permitted to have audience with them.
I can predict the cynical reply...it's no mystery that many parents have no control of who their children date. Just because many don't is not reason that all should abdicate their responsibility in this area. The relationship of tomorrow where a daughter trusts her parents' discretion is established in the relationship of today. Children need to be informed periodically and reminded about the future rules and boundaries of the relationships that will be taking place down the road. Parents need to exercise faithfulness and consistency in today's decisions, so that tomorrow's decisions can be trusted and even desired by guidance-seeking children.
My job as dad is to be the type of man that models what my daughters should be looking for in a future husband. My responsibility is to model that relationship with their mother. My job is to be single-minded in my love and commitment to her, and to love her in a sacrificial manner. My responsibility is to honor her, to seek her input in family decisions, and to protect and defend her. I am bound to cleave to her and to transparently share my life with her. I am to do these things in a way that gives my daughters a picture of what a man can be and should be to them. And even as I strive to be this every day to my bride, my prayer is that my daughters are given to men one day who exceed this standard and excel as husbands and fathers better than have I.
This entry is prompted by the discovery of the lyrics to Jesse McCartney's song Daddy's Little Girl.
By evidence contained in this song, until further notice McCartney is being classified as a Bottom Feeder.
June 2, 2008 8:31 AM | TrackBack