July 11, 2008
Remember When...8th GradePosted by Bryan
In an attempt to digitize as much of my history as possible, what follows is a collection of 8th grade end-of-the-year memories that ran in the student paper. It's preserved for posterity here.
Remember When...
- Alan Weitz shoved an entire Oreo Ice Cream in his mouth. I do remember this...and this nasty dairy mess that resulted. It was surpassed a couple years later when Chris Winey put an entire Double Whopper with Cheese into his piehole after a two-a-day football practice.
- Wade Houck ran for "Head Girl." I do remember this, too. I didn't find this as funny as most others did. Probably because if I had done a similar thing, my brother Jamie would have beat me senseless for the ripple effect it could have had on his own popularity.
- Stacy Bell played Super Girl. Again, no recollection of this whatsoever.
- Troy Rosencutter, Jon Gulisano, David Gulisano, and Bryan McAnally were singing "The Love Boat" over Spring Break. I do remember this...we were doing things we weren't supposed to be doing and we thought it was funny to commemorate it to sing the theme song from an Aaron Spelling creative vehicle. On an unrelated note, did you know that some scientists believe that the male cognitive processes do not fully develop until late in adolescence?
And two song dedications:
To: Becca
From: Bryan
"Why Can't This be Love?"
To: Troy
From: Stacy
"Endless Love"
aah...perspective is a beautiful thing. Especially when you realize how little of it you actually possessed when you were 12 and 13 years old.
And we conclude this skip down obscure memory lane with the advice column written by P.A.T...a clever acronym for Amy Pankonin (P), Angel Sexton (A), and Trisha Decker (T).
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Dear P.A.T.,
I like this guy, and I've heard that he likes me, too. The problem is that one of my good friends also likes him, and I don't want to hurt her. What Should I do?
Hurt
Dear Hurt,
Ask your friend if she has any other guy that she likes. If she doesn't, ask her how she would feel if you went out with that guy.
P.A.T.
Seriously, what could go wrong with this plan? If I remember my teenage years (and I think I've established that I clearly do...not so much), then I can remember that every single one of those conversations went something like this:
Veronica: Hey Betty...I noticed Jughead looking at you. But I know you like Archie. Is there any chance you would be interested in Jughead?
Betty: No....Archie is the only guy for me...he's swell.
Veronica: Hmmm...Betty, how would you feel if I went out with Archie?
Betty: I HATE YOU, YOU BACKSTABBER!
And then Veronica and Archie dated anyway. Until Moose came along, but that's another comic adventure altogether.
Today, if I were P.A.T., my advice would be something like...
Dear Hurt,
You're in 8th grade. Go do your homework. Play a sport. Quit worrying about boys. They are years behind you mentally and emotionally. Trust me on this.
note: the top photo is actually from 9th grade...apparently, I'm a little short on evidence that 8th grade actually took place. Some of the people mentioned in the memories above can be found in the photo.
July 11, 2008 11:58 AM | TrackBack