the online home of Bryan McAnally
June 12, 2008
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From the inbox: A guys calls his girlfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me...I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I just can't figure out how to get it started." His girlfriend asks, "What's it supposed to...
May 13, 2008
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I love this...for so many reasons...from my inbox: One day a guy named Bryan housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to Kelli his wife, "What setting do I use...
April 21, 2008
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I dug this out of the archives for reprint because the old (dead) link is constantly coming up in the referrer logs, and because the new Indiana Jones movie is coming out and I think its title may itself be...
April 10, 2008
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From the inbox: A young Ivy League lawyer was driving to a hearing in another town, which he was late for. While driving through back streets, the lawyer, in a rush, decided not to stop at a stop sign, but...
February 18, 2008
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From the inbox (there's a few good ones in here) HANDY ENGINEERING CONVERSIONS ~ Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi ~ 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton ~ 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope...
February 11, 2008
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From the inbox: A woman was working in her yard with the weed whacker, when she accidentally cut off the tail of her cat. She ran screaming into the house, and told her husband, wondering what to do. He replied...
January 30, 2008
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From the inbox: The pastor called all the children up to the front for the weekly Bible story. Little Jimmy listened intently to the story of Lot. The pastor said, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife...
January 22, 2008
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I'm leading a Bible study on Exodus at church (Tuesdays or Wednesday nights at 6 PM...come join in). As I prepare for this week's discussion, I have found biblical proof that God is a baseball fan. Apparently, he was talking...
January 21, 2008
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From the inbox: On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no 'I' in the word 'marriage.'"...
November 6, 2007
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Kelli is away at the writer's conference for VBS 2009. So I'm going solo with the McKids. It actually shouldn't be too rough, because Kelli gets us all lined out and set up to survive in her absence. In honor...
October 18, 2007
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a repost from October 7, 2002 On October 3, 2002, scientists completed the important work of picking the world's funniest joke. A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground....
February 22, 2007
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From the inbox: A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men: One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion...
January 25, 2007
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From the Inbox... I was packing for my business trip and my three-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this" and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying...
August 28, 2006
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Also from the inbox (are you noticing a theme)... A rich man was trying to find his daughter a birthday gift when he saw a poor man with a beautiful white horse. He told the man that he would give...
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From the inbox of long ago... Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger." Did you hear that NASA recently put a...
August 3, 2006
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This made me smile in an otherwise somber day:A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender says "That's a cool newt. What's his name?" The man says "Tiny." The bartender asks, "Why do you...
July 8, 2006
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From the Inbox:A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi would get together twice a week for coffee to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would...
May 30, 2006
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Perhaps there's a place for this in the ongoing discussion about preferences between traditional and contemporary worship...(from the inbox) A researcher arrives in Borneo to gather data for his thesis. Accompanied by his trusty guide, he seeks out a very...
May 25, 2006
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From the inbox, something so bad it's good...no, it's just bad. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him...
May 22, 2006
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from the inbox: TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria....
May 10, 2006
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From the inbox: One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around...
April 21, 2006
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A two putt from the inbox: GOLF RULE BOOK CHANGES 2006 RULE 1.a. A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled...
March 10, 2006
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From the Inbox: My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they got lost. Uncle Joe reassured his buddy, though. "Don't worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air...
January 27, 2006
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From the Inbox:A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed....
January 19, 2006
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From the InboxThere's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the...
October 24, 2005
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I chuckled at this for some reason, from my inbox:The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked. "Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing...
October 3, 2005
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Who doesn't love a little pirate humor? From the inbox... A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate,...
September 26, 2005
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I don't typically pass along blonde jokes, but I did chuckle...after I thought about it for a moment... A man was sitting in a cafeteria next to a blonde woman who was engrossed in her newspaper. The bold headline read...
September 21, 2005
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From the Inbox:One day, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a diner. A waitress walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. Bush leans close to her and says, "Honey, can I have a...
September 19, 2005
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From the inbox:A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting. "How are we faring?" asks the king. "Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day,...
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From the inbox:A nun who worked for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it there was a station just down the street. She walked to...
September 16, 2005
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From the Inbox:One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," she replied. "What does...
September 14, 2005
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From the inbox: A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads and met a little girl coming from another direction. "Hello," said the little boy. "Hi," replied the...
August 31, 2005
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From my inbox:WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK... A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2...
August 9, 2005
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Also from the inbox...but I suspicious that everyone has seen this but me....I recycle it here mostly as a confession that I feel like Costello about 99.87 percent of the time. ABBOTT AND COSTELLO AND COMPUTERS If Bud Abbott and...
July 11, 2005
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Finally, a golf list for me...(from Mikey's Funnies): USEFUL GOLF TIPS The First Truly Useful Golf Book includes the following chapters: How to properly line up your fourth putt. How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit...
June 22, 2005
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From the Inbox:Lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriffs Deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to...
June 20, 2005
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From the Inbox:A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the...
June 18, 2005
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From the Inbox: A new wine for seniors California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected...
June 9, 2005
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From the inbox:A visiting minister during the offertory prayer: "Dear Lord," he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..." He would have continued, but at that moment one very...
June 5, 2005
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A burly mechanic decided he'd take his wife to the fanciest restaurant in town for their anniversary. He had to work late that day, so he was covered in grease and grime and didn't have time to get cleaned up...
May 24, 2005
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From the inbox:The Unstoppable Virus I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior...
May 19, 2005
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Bob Hope's humor, presumably posthumously, waiting for me in my inbox:ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only downhill". ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing." ON TURNING 90 "You...
May 11, 2005
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From My inbox...why some men and women struggle to understand each other... .flickr-photo { border: solid 2px #000000; } .flickr-yourcomment { } .flickr-frame { text-align: left; padding: 3px; } .flickr-caption { font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: 0px; }...
May 9, 2005
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From the inbox, occasionally edited:Deep Observations on Life Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."...
April 29, 2005
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From the inbox:Joey and his classmates had just finished a tour of the local fire hall. Before each student could leave, the fire chief quizzed him. The fire chief asked little Joey, "What do you do if your clothes...
April 27, 2005
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From the "Ask a Stupid Question..." folder of the Inbox:Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I'm sorry, there's no such listing. Are you sure you have the spelling correct? Caller : Well,...
April 26, 2005
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From my inbox: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? Repeated absences and stealing. *** Four blondes are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they...
April 20, 2005
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#1A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my...
April 12, 2005
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From my inbox for my outbox while I continue my vacation....I don't know about you, but I find those "Out-Of-The-Office" E-Mail Auto-replies so ordinary and tedious. Here are some fun alternatives. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has...
April 7, 2005
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From the in box:Ten Step Guide To Being Handy Around The House If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any...
March 30, 2005
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From Matt, SC contributor, via email: An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources...
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From the inbox:Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor- Texas Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to...
March 26, 2005
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From the inbox:Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Israel. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver, "Say, is this really a healthful place?" "It sure is," the cabby replied. "When I came here I couldn't say...
March 24, 2005
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Another from the inbox:The new young monk is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the order by hand. He notices that they are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So,...
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From the Inbox:10 Signs That Your Guy Hates ShoppingYou catch him staring into the store's security cameras,waving his arms in the air and mouthing "Help me!" In the last year of hitting the mall together,he's gained 20 pounds trying to...
March 22, 2005
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From the inbox The owner of this drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk : "What's with the guy over there by the wall?" The clerk responds : "Well,...
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Tell me the best joke you've heard lately....and do your best to keep it clean, please......
March 11, 2005
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As delivered by my invisible e-mail carrier:There was this fellow who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day a letter came to his desk, addressed in a...
March 8, 2005
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Cleaning out the inbox:Cooking TermsTongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow. Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt...
February 24, 2005
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In the inbox:A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk. "Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man. The assistant promptly bends down and has...
February 3, 2005
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From Melissa, of Mel's Coffee Swirls:The bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After...
February 2, 2005
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Seen on-line... Knock-knock. Who’s there? The interrupting cow. The interrup- Moooooooooooooo ... and Why are pirates called pirates? Coz they aaarrrrggggghhhh! So the question is...which one is funnier, relatively speaking? In the comments, share a (clean) joke that you think...
January 28, 2005
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From the inbox, Edited, Modified, and in some cases, competely opposite of what was originally offered:Know Your State Motto Alabama : Despite Popular Belief, We Do Have Electricity Alaska : 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Arizona : It's A Dry...
December 3, 2004
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From About it All Stamps, via Blog Explosion: The Post Office just recalled their latest stamps. They had pictures of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. Nothing against lawyers, really. Some of my...
November 24, 2004
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From the inbox:Little Johnny went to the Doctor to get a vaccination. After the shot, the Doc pulled out a Band-Aid and started to cover the spot on his arm. Johnny asked him to put it on the other arm....
November 18, 2004
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From the inbox*:Two good-old-boys, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a po-lice roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here...
November 8, 2004
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From the inbox....At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service" - "The act of doing things for other people." Then I heard the terms: Internal Revenue Service Postal Service...
October 27, 2004
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Two jokes at which I laughed.... Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Control freak. Person 1: Now you say "control freak who?" How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? LET'S...
October 25, 2004
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Also from the Inbox:Things I have learned about Texas: Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas. There are 10,000 types of...
October 18, 2004
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This from the inbox, cracked me up for some reason: An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them....
October 7, 2004
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of the golfing variety, that is. And, as almost always, from the inbox:One lovely morning, Ben and Thomas were out golfing. Ben sliced his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabbed his 8-iron and proceeded down the embankment into...
September 24, 2004
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From the email:SIGNS YOUR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE IS UNDER-QUALIFIED Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii. Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on "The West Wing." His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is "That Bob...
September 19, 2004
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Also from the Inbox: A pastor was doing his children's sermon with all the youngsters down front to hear the lesson. He was discussing the story of Jonah. He quoted the scriptures from Jonah 1 and 2: "And the Lord...
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From the Inbox: Southern Sympathy A very genteel Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Augusta, GA one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin to jump. She stopped...
September 10, 2004
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From the inbox: Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which by mistake happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet. "Hello?" she cried, but heard...
September 3, 2004
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From the inbox, but pretty funny, imho:A women desperately looking for work goes to the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The Personnel Manager goes over her resume and explains to her that he regrets he has nothing worthy of her. The...
August 30, 2004
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I received an email that was laugh-out-loud funny, but because the content is "PG-13" (no vulgarities, I promise), I'm linking to the web version rather than C&P-ing it here....
August 26, 2004
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From the Inbox: Two antennae meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent!...
August 23, 2004
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From the inbox:A guy gets shipwrecked. When he wakes up, he's on a beach. The sand is dark red. He can't believe it. The sky is dark red. He walks around a bit and sees there is dark red grass,...
August 22, 2004
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The best joke I heard in my travels: If you're an American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? European! I'm sorry....
August 16, 2004
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Culled, edited from an email:Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the wit and wisdom to do their job properly. Remember that...
July 31, 2004
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From the inbox: Things to do at Wal-Mart Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in Peoples carts when they aren't looking. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. Make a trail...
July 24, 2004
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Pringles Potato Crisps (whose Brazilian slogan is "Fale de boca, cheia!"--amidst a brilliant marketing campaign that includes the introduction of what must-be-tasty flavors like Ketchup, Flaming Hot, Road Tar & Locust, and Shingles Pringles--offers a new gimmicky sell that provides...
July 8, 2004
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From the inbox with the proviso that I personally have nothing but the highest respect for officers of every stripe and law:A farmer in Indiana got pulled over by a State Trooper for speeding. The trooper started to lecture the...
June 30, 2004
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Edited....massively...from the inbox:THE PROBLEM: Two Videos are for sale - Which to Buy? "Titanic" or "My Life - The Bill Clinton Movie" TITANIC VIDEO: $9. 99 CLINTON VIDEO: $9. 99 TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3...
June 28, 2004
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in the email:What's In A Name?The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street is not just an athlete, she is a nurse currently working at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the telephone,...
June 21, 2004
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In my inbox:One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the inappropriate behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. When the angel returned, he told...
June 16, 2004
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From the inbox...something old & something new... 1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've...
May 27, 2004
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From the inbox, with my sincere apologies: Mole FamilyA Chief mole, a Big Mama mole and the littlest mole all live in a little mole hole. One day the Chief mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the...
May 10, 2004
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Dumb kids are always good for a laugh, but don't blame them, for they are merely a product of the same system that tells them their uncles were monkeys, that the earth is 70 bazillion years old (give or take...
May 7, 2004
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An innoculating shot of health humor from the inbox: New breakthroughs in health Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them...
May 4, 2004
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From the inbox: I am seriously considering our involvement in this mess! Why are we still there? Every day there are news reports about more deaths. Every night on TV there are photos of death and destruction. Why are we...
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Received & Edited from my inbox. And its presence here has no reflection on the transpired events of today where higher ups received new laptops & docking stations, including flat screen monitors. None at all. None. A guy walks into...
May 1, 2004
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from the inbox: A sweet grandmother telephoned Mount Sinai Hospital She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said "I'll be glad to help, Dear. What's the...
April 23, 2004
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From Mikey: 10 SIGNS YOU MAY NOT BE READING YOUR BIBLE ENOUGH 10) You open up your Bible in church and a huge dust cloud rises. 9) You think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob may have had a few hit songs...
April 22, 2004
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Have you ever felt this way? I'm banking that you have. From the inbox: Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three...
April 20, 2004
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Email from my bride who, and I quote, "laughed." Hormone hostage The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into...
April 19, 2004
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From Mikey's Funnies, one to grow on: The church gossip, and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several church members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their...
April 16, 2004
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While "Forward if you love Jesus" emails drive me crazy, I'm still reserving the right to post funny things that come along. Because I'm not bothering you intentionally as an individual...and further discussion might reveal an inconsistency on my part,...
Posted by Bryan
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Found some of these around the web: "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't." "I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped...
April 15, 2004
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...and he thinks you should have smiled for the camera. I think this is a little a lot freaky, when you can go online and see a photograph of anyone's driver's license, if you only know name, city, state, and...
April 13, 2004
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From the inbox: Two boys in Boston were playing basketball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog's collar and twisted...
April 12, 2004
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Edited, from my inbox: Dear Abby, My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it...
April 7, 2004
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This dark humor was found and slightly modified while looking for a much more inspiring anecdote:Bob was playing off the sixth tee at the local private golf club. The fairway of the sixth needed some skill because it ran alongside...
April 1, 2004
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From the Inbox: After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. He wanted to continue living in their downtown luxury apartment with his new lover so he asked his wife to move out and...
March 30, 2004
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From the Inbox: THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY ~ Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy. ~ Someone call the janitor. We're going to need a mop. ~ Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad...
March 28, 2004
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"Do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good price reductions." From the Wall Street Journal BOTW, we have the earth-shaking news of a WalMart coming to Eden. Here's your chance to join this week's PunFest®: Examples include:...
March 22, 2004
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This from Ovie, our office Bracket guru. I'm sure many of these apply to your own traffic experiences as well, regardless of locale. Visitor's Guide to Atlanta You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "Hotlana". Driving Information:...
March 18, 2004
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A less-than serious twofer, related to the mark/number of the beast, mentioned quite seriously in Revelation 13:18. First, from the e-mail: 666 - The number of the beast 667 - neighbor of the beast 660 - Approximate number of the...
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In the spirit of Roberto, I give you (via the email): What do you call an Irishman who keeps bouncing off walls? Rick O'Shea...
March 10, 2004
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This is truly a slacker effort on my part, and if Blogger Idol were more cutthroat, I'd be out on the curb. But here's a C&P that fits the topic and it made me laugh. A young couple were...
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From the Inbox: We can all take solace in how lucky we are. With all the news on TV lately about the subzero weather and snow that the east coast and Midwest areas are experiencing, we shouldn't forget that Northern California...
March 7, 2004
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From the Inbox:A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and...
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From the Inbox: To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday": Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day...
March 5, 2004
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From Mikey: REAL QUESTIONS ASKED AT NATIONAL PARKS - Everglades National Park: Are the alligators real? Are the baby alligators for sale? Where are all the rides? What time does the two o'clock bus leave? - Mesa Verde National Park:...
February 11, 2004
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That would explain why he looked so ash-en.Ohhh...we got a million of 'em for the story of the two trees that were recently married in India, as an attempt to appease a rain god. The Bride Wore A Green &...
February 2, 2004
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L. DiCaprioCatch me if you can, manCaught you picking noseOprah turned fiftyThat's not like two 25sO! AARP!Sarah JessicaSoon to see life's not aboutSex, nor the cityBlonde Charlize TheronGot dumpy as the "Monster"Shops at TJ MaxxKiwi directorPeter Jackson stands aloneWill he...
December 24, 2003
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THOU canst express the constraint frivolitydiscovered upon Trio's aforeday famepop, culture, television, nee virilityScott Baio be thy nameWherefore canst competition aboundbetween the ilk of Larry Wilcox from CHiPs daysvying in arms opposed on groundto Cathy Lee Crosby regarding Simon SaysHoward...
October 25, 2003
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WORDS (some)WOMEN USEFINEThis is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have...
August 11, 2003
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this just in: men and women are different.i understood this once again as i listened in on two female coworkers discuss -- at length -- the female phenomenon known as secret sisters.this little activity would just not fly with men....
July 16, 2003
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the skills of interpersonal office communication (henceforth IOC) are a finely honed, time-developed system of linguistic practice that may on the surface appear to be easily mastered, yet may actually require years and years of trial and error to adequately...
July 15, 2003
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i recently posted a great graduation day speech.however, it has been bested by this one, by will ferrell, to the neophytes from harvard state junior college a&t school of hair design technology & jet engine repair.will ferrell=funnyyou have the right...
May 9, 2003
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Sweat SockCigarrette ButtMeat LoafPenicillinSARSFear Factor SurpriseWhole Tuna in a BlenderScent O' the SubwayBody OdorThe Matrix, RegurgitatedHigh School HazeWMD (Watermelon & mango daquiri -- what were you thinking it stood for?)FilibusterShmutzLint TrapThings Found in Saddam's MoustacheUnder the Fingernail ScrapingsLast Sunday's LeftoversEarwaxHas...
May 1, 2003
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the fifth of May is significant for a couple of reasons.first and foremost, it is on this date six years ago, that my eldest child, the exquisitely feminine,laydlike and demure Kaylyn Marie McAnally entered this world, four weeks earlier than...
April 23, 2003
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we recently took with us from my parent's home a partially consumed "box" of EL Fudge cookies.I noticed that they have started to inscribe one side of their cookies with cute messages.The first couple were eye-catchingdo you believe in Elvist?Elves...
April 15, 2003
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a C&P email from a friend....For all those who complain about their job, next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs...
April 6, 2003
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expository preachingdiaper changingboil lancingpropaganda dispensingarmchair quarterbackingflossingpowernapping'your mama' joke tellingchild discipliningmonopoly playingmoney laundering[arsenio]hit the digits America, this is your show[/arsenio]...
January 28, 2003
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from Mikey's funnies:~ IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words "state zip code" should have read "pull...
January 13, 2003
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What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto.I (seriously) want to know -- is this a violation of pc standards. I confess to smiling at this joke and don't find it offensive. But I'm Irish, my name...